The. Best. Christ. Mas. Songs. Evar.


To me some it represents the impending doom of Jury Duty, only obeyed for fear of sharing a cell with an enlarged “woman” named Tiny.  To the world over, it signifies the thick of the Holiday Season, and, most importantly– the fun “month illustration” on every calendar.

A feeling only Chrismahaunakwanzikah can bring.

This season is also particularly special because it’s the only one with it’s own soundtrack. Sure there are songs about love, but not necesarily Valentine’s Day, No one outside of the Irish sing for drinking, St. Patty’s Day, and I’ve never particularly heard a President’s Day song that made me want to blast it on my iPod, further deafening myself.


5. Nat King Cole- The Christmas Song

Mr. Cole’s voice is akin to a fireplace and a freshly iced gingerbread house. That you just bit the door off of. Because you thought no one would notice if you called it a gingerbread “hut”.

For now, let’s just call him the Velvet Voice.

4. Paul Mc Cartney- Wonderful Christmastime

As cheesy and heavily synthed as it is, it gets radio-played almost 10 times an hour. This is obviously some sort of scientific measure of Paul McCartney’s popularity. I can listen to this sequence (or lack thereof) and not get exhausted. Maybe that says more about me than it does the song.

3. Stevie Wonder- Christmastime

On an ordinary day, during any one of his songs, Stevie Wonder’s voice makes my eyeballs well up. Add pine, memories of holidays past. Here is the recipie for the salty discharge that begins to roll down my cheeks. We’ve got a stage two tissue emergency.

Please don’t take Stevie Wonder at all. Take Soulja Boy instead.

2. Mariah Carey- All I Want For Christmas

The crowd pretty much echoes the world’s sentiment on this song. If you don’t agree, you’ve never:

a.) Truly appreciated Mariah Carey’s crazy

b.) Truly appreciated Mariah Carey’s genius

Much like last week’s toenail standing moment at The Garden, this and the following have been in contention for the number 1 spot.

1. Let It Snow- Boyz II Men Feat. Brian McKnight

If you can get passed the abusive hoop-earring wearing in this video, you can truly appreciate the song for what it is. Nostalgia & Christmas Cheer donned in Charlie Brown sweaters.

A classic with a twist . And I wouldn’t have it any other way.


It’s ok, half my family is Jewish. I’m allowed.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Ms. Wanda says:


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